“Once you reach the top, take care as the only way left to go is down”
We’ve all been in situations where we shy away from opportunities probably due to fear of not being qualified or not being cut out for the task. Personally in the past years, I would never volunteer for any debate, or be the first to speak up in a gathering. This is not because I lack the ability but I can’t just think of dealing with the “what ifs”. This was a confidence issue, I lacked self-confidence.
The dictionary defines self-confidence as “Confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities”
Personally, I think some of you can relate to what I am talking about and we often mistake this lack of confidence as humility. The fear of not being qualified, the feeling that others are better than you are, the fear of not meeting up to expectations. We don’t even try anymore, we just assume we’re not cut out for it. I fall under this category most times, this has caused so many great opportunities to pass by without me even realizing that.
I read somewhere that when we lack self-confidence, we are deprived of some of the most useful weapons for life’s journey. Some people see lack of self-confidence as humility, others see self-confidence as pride. Meanwhile, there is a very thin line between self-confidence and pride.
The dictionary defines pride as “A feeling that you are more important or better than other people”. It also defines it as “A feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by others or “A feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good,difficult,great etc”.
Pride is a feature that can affect our relationship with people. A proud person would find it hard to ask for advice, listen to corrections. So I sat back and tried to analyze the difference between a self-confident person and a proud person. Both persons exhibit a certain level of courage,poise,self-esteem or the likes and it’s quite hard to actually differentiate between these two. Most times, people possess this feature due to past experiences, past failures could lead to lack of self-confidence and successes in the past could lead to pride.
Pride is most times driven by competition. The need to be better than others or to outdo other people. For example, a proud person would not mind failing as long as her competitor fails too. A proud person might only put her best ability when it has to do with outshining other people. Confidence in my opinion should be driven by the need to be a constantly updated version of yourself.
A proud person belittles other people. She always finds a way to make others feel less than they are. “She passed the scholarship exams, but I could have done better”, these are the words of a proud person. A self-confident person does not lead to belittle other people to feel better about herself. She just trusts in her abilities and capabilities.
Pride just generally deals with how we view other people and how they view us. Comparison and egotism are the fuel of pride. Pride might look like confidence but deep down it is just fear and insecurities driven by the need for validation.
So let’s re-evaluate ourselves right now;
- What motivates you? Is it the desire to be better or the need to be better than others?
- Do you look down on other people to feel better about your own accomplishments?
I believe we all have that factor deposited in us waiting for its awakening. I believe also in a higher power that deposited that factor. Leave a message, it would absolutely thrill me.❤
“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you”
With Love in its abundance,